Nothin’ Sez Lovin’: Doughboy Nursery Discovered

I hesitate to make this information public–mostly due to the fact that this discovery was from our peaceful, remote, blissfully-neglected creek valley on the edge of the Blue Ridge.

But the public would find out soon enough. So here it is:

Discovered: where Doughboys come from; The Nursery of The Biscuit. Air, water, earth and ultimately, fire. How elemental; how mysterious and ancient a lineage they must be from!

Gestational stages in Embryo Development of the Doughboy
Gestational stages in Embryo Development of the Doughboy

Frankly, the appearance of the unmistakable visage and baker’s hat only appeared once I brought the camera indoors and began to inspect the shots from that morning. Even then, until some work to enhance contrast and clarity, it would have been easy to overlook what now appears so apparent.

Beyond this–what will become of this discovery, how it will spin at the hand of its handlers back at Pillsbury, I cannot say.

I expect, now that the fact is known, busloads of reporters and film crews will descend on our quiet valley, careening down our muddy road in gawdy buses bristling with communications antennae. PortaJohns, generator-powered hookups, all the flotsam of notoriety, will overwhelm our peace.

I know this. But it would be selfish of me to keep this revelation to myself and not share it–at first with you, my fellow travelers–and then the rest of a corpulent, over-fed America of doughboys and girls. (When the first DB was revealed in 1962, this body type was somehow comical, jolly, unusual. Today–not so much. Hee-Hee!)

But with all the recurrent public appearances of DoughBoys in popular culture and media over the years, [see wikipedia]  backups have and will be needed; and as it turns out, they are born on Goose Creek.

Share this with your friends!

Fred First holds masters degrees in Vertebrate Zoology and physical therapy, and has been a biology teacher and physical therapist by profession. He moved to southwest Virginia in 1975 and to Floyd County in 1997. He maintains a daily photo-blog, broadcasts essays on the Roanoke NPR station, and contributes regular columns for the Floyd Press and Roanoke's Star Sentinel. His two non-fiction books, Slow Road Home and his recent What We Hold in Our Hands, celebrate the riches that we possess in our families and communities, our natural bounty, social capital and Appalachian cultures old and new. He has served on the Jacksonville Center Board of Directors and is newly active in the Sustain Floyd organization. He lives in northeastern Floyd County on the headwaters of the Roanoke River.

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  1. Uh, I don’t know what other folks are seeing, but just now I’m seeing two ads–with rather scantily clad ladies–from something called Play Free! Is this really in keeping with the spirit of Fragments?