I Give Up, Dear. Whatever.


It has been a morning at the Argument Clinic. I got the ten argument package.

M:  Look, you just contradicted me.

A:   I did not.

M:  Oh you did!!

A:   No, no, no.

M:  You did just then.

A:   Nonsense!

M:  Oh, this is futile!

A:   No it isn’t.

M:  I came here for a good argument.

A:   No you didn’t; no, you came here for an argument.

M:  An argument isn’t just contradiction.

A:   It can be.

M:  No it can’t. An argument is a connected series of statements intended to establish a proposition.

A:   No it isn’t.

M:  Yes it is! It’s not just contradiction.

A:   Look, if I argue with you, I must take up a contrary position.

M:  Yes, but that’s not just saying ‘No it isn’t.’

A:   Yes it is!

M:   No it isn’t!

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Fred First holds masters degrees in Vertebrate Zoology and physical therapy, and has been a biology teacher and physical therapist by profession. He moved to southwest Virginia in 1975 and to Floyd County in 1997. He maintains a daily photo-blog, broadcasts essays on the Roanoke NPR station, and contributes regular columns for the Floyd Press and Roanoke's Star Sentinel. His two non-fiction books, Slow Road Home and his recent What We Hold in Our Hands, celebrate the riches that we possess in our families and communities, our natural bounty, social capital and Appalachian cultures old and new. He has served on the Jacksonville Center Board of Directors and is newly active in the Sustain Floyd organization. He lives in northeastern Floyd County on the headwaters of the Roanoke River.

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